That time the universe decided to give me a pep talk

Oh, hey! It’s been a little bit. To be honest, I’ve been wrestling with some major issues of self-confidence and self-questioning for the last few weeks.

A few things have happened:

1. In September, I started a class where we’re learning the JavaScript React framework, and the first five weeks or so were a huge struggle train. I fell into the trap of questioning my general intelligence and overall worth just because there were programming concepts that were difficult for me, as a visual learner, to grasp. I think I’ve finally pulled myself out of that trap by coming up with a React project that I’m excited about, but it was tough there for a bit.

2. I fell into the rabbit hole of looking at other peoples’ LinkedIn profiles and online portfolios, and comparing myself to those. I’ve been cautioned against this so, so, so many times over my years on social media, and I did it anyway.

Then that voice in my head that says, “You’re too old to be pursuing a career in UX,” started again. I know, I know. I’m 32. That’s by no means old. But I can find all kinds of examples of new college graduates who are 10 years younger than me, and have amazing design portfolios that make me question why I’m even bothering. Can you see how this kind of thinking could lead to self-destructive behavior? It’s something I’m going to have to work on.

Anyway, it seems like the good forces in the universe have conspired to bring me out of that funk this week.

The latest episode of a UX podcast that I really like, User Defenders, featured Denise Jacobs, author of a book called Banish Your Inner Critic. And oh gosh, did I need to hear some of the stuff in that episode! Here it is, if you want to check it out: Banish Your Inner Critic with Denise Jacobs (Part I).

I listened to that on Monday. Then yesterday evening, a local meetup group hosted a talk about imposter syndrome, appropriately titled Slaying the Dragon. The number of attendees made me realize that self-confidence and self-questioning is something a LOT of other people experience as well.

I’m so thankful that there are people talking about these topics, and that these two events were kind of just plopped in front of me. The last few weeks have been rough, mentally, but I’m ready to get back up and try again.

P.S. Why the photo of me at the climbing gym? Because rock climbing is something I recently started learning, and it’s shown me that I am way braver and more capable than I think, sometimes.



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